musings

Today feels like a good day for typing in a girly color, considering the subject of what I intend to write about. The truth of the matter is, I haven't always been so into traditional femininity. Like almost every other human, I experienced the akwardness of puberty, and during that time I didn't dare try on a dress or wear anything loudly girly, because I was just trying to look typical and didn't want to step out of my very small comfort zone. Luckily, it passed, and in college I embraced my inner woman! When I was a little girl, my parents tell me all I wanted to be was a little princess. I insisted that my dad call me his little princess. I loved dresses and pink and everything girly. One way I began straying further from "traditional" female in college however, despite going back to pink and skirts and dresses and heels and nail polish and makeup, was my view on Biblical roles of the male and female.

I remember that they made us take this class, where the main subject was gender roles. We read a book that had 4 different views, and for each segment we had to read all 4 points of view. Well, the Bible says that women are to be submissive to their husbands, and it limits their role of teaching and some would even say speaking in church. I didn't like that. I remember feeling so much angst as I read the words of the men in the book who still held to the traditional view, and I would be so mad, because of COURSE they are going to accept the Biblical view, they don't have to sacrifice anything! I felt like to accept the Biblical view meant that I needed to check my brains in at the door, and I hated that. So I dabbled on the other side of the fence. It sure felt like they were considering my wants and needs more on the other side. I knew that in Bible times, women didn't really receive education, so duh, it's probably not good to have an uneducated woman teaching. Makes sense to me. But here I was, getting a Bible college degree, and I KNEW I was smart- I have some really great insights sometimes. Every spiritual gifts test I took told me I had the pastor/shephard gift, and I was so confused with what I was supposed to do with that. Why would God give me brains, give me insight, give me education, then not let me use them? At the time, it didn't make any sense to me.

Fast forward a few years. Now I'm in graduate school at a seminary. But, several of my fellow classmates are feminists. At first I wasn't really thinking about it, and because they're attractive and kind, I wanted to be like them. I never subscribed to their view per say, but I laughed at the joke and began making a cognitive dissent into the feminism...now I'm reading a book for a class on marital/sexual ethics, and the book is talking about paganism redefining sexuality in the USA, and how it's sweeping into our churches, and then, the author began writing about gender roles. I felt really convicted as a I read that. He made a good point that it's the first step down an extremely slippery slope. The biggest thing wrong about it is...not taking God's word for God's word. While I would like to re-interpret those scriptures, what's the chance that for 2,000 years man has been interpreting them wrong? I realized that in this time of relative truth and pagan sexuality and huge attacks on churches...it's time to hold fast to Biblical teaching. If I re-interpret the gender passages, why not re-interpret others? I just don't want to be that Christian. So, I am re-committing myself to traditional gender roles.

I mentioned earlier that I didn't understand in college, why God would give me my gifts, and then leave me no outlet. Of course, he didn't! I'm married to a man who desires to be a pastor/shephard, and he is extremely open to my viewpoint. In a really cool way I get to help out and offer my ideas, and help HIM become a better minister. Occasionally I'll write a lesson or devotion for him to use. Often times I give him my feedback on how he's leading the class, and what could be softened, what could be hardened, and what issues I really think need to be addressed. I think God has given me the perfect outlet. Because, I never really wanted to be a minister! I just wanted to be able to use my gifts in a non-controversial way to further the Body of Christ! I feel like I have a great opportunity to do that.

Thank you God, for creating the world YOUR way. I know You've got the master plans, and I trust myself to You. I submit myself to Your ways. Thanks for making me a woman.